Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Somber Night

I'm sure she won't want me to feel this way, but I'm sad tonight. My Grama finally took her last breaths today and although this day has been very expected this past week and I'm glad she's finally free, I'm really sad to see her go.
She was the last of my grandparents, I suppose that marks something in your life, and I'm wondering tonight how she must have been when she was my age. When I imagine her from when I was little it's mostly of the house in Vancouver. There she maintained gorgeous rose bushes and a really spectacular garden, admist an impeccably clean and organized yet warm and welcoming home. I was fortunate enough to be treated like a royal princess at her house, even sleeping in my own princess room with white frilly linens and a royal purple chair. I miss that house, and sometimes I realized I'm trying to run my house in the same spirit. I even have a pretty girly room with the same purple chair that somehow I claimed a few years back.
She loved glamour too, furs coats which were at the height of fashion in her era and pearls and fancy evening purses. I remember as a little girl spending friday nights at my grandparents place opening all the drawers in her dresser and examining the specialty evening purses that she would take with her to the ballet.
Ballet was another huge part of her life, she lived breathed and was one with Canadian ballet culture in the 50's. This love has somehow transferred to me as well. She has given me an heartfelt appreciated for the beautiful art. I will always hold my breath while watching Swan Lake, or be really excited for the second act of the Nutcracker at Christmas.
I wonder what those days must have been like, were everyone dressed up on Saturday nights and went the Queen Elizabeth theater for entertainment. It must have been very sophisticated and elegant.
I know she's gone, but I'll always have her. I know exactly how to make her famous meat loaf dinner, and I really only prefer to make it in the same orange cast iron pot that I claimed from her house years ago as well.
Anyways thanks for reading my post, to write this helps me remember and keep it fresh.

p.s The family is hoping that tonght she'll finally have a chance to finally get mad at my Grandpa for leaving first, hopefully they will be together.


Paola said...

What a touching post Lisa. I don't think I have read anything so moving in a blog for a very long time.

I wish your grandma a very peaceful time right now and a very happy encounter with your grandpa.

I have my four grandparents alive and cannot imagine one of them to be gone.

It's amazing how much they teach us and what a mark they leave on our lives.

I hope you feel less sad soon. Make sure you pass your grandma's traditions along to your kids, I think it's the best we can do to honour our grandparent's lessons and their love to us.

Lisa's Diet said...

Thanks Paula

Melanie Catherine said...

Hi Lisa,
You did a really nice job writing that post...

stephoto said...

i know how you feel lisa, i lost my last grandparent in the fall and it does make for a significant moment in your life, the family structure takes on a new role when it loses its eldest founders. As much as I miss mine i am always thankful for the time I did have with my grandparents... some people never get to know them... my dad's dad died when my sister was 1 year old (years b4 i was born) and andrew never knew either of his parent's parents but we still have his step-grandparents around today and we do our best to visit them every chance we have. There is much to learn from grandparents, even when they are gone -they will continue to inspire us.

Jenns Theatre said...

I'm so sorry Lisa. What wonderful memories you have though and 'paola' is right it is a very touching post. My thoughts are with you and your family.