Today Oprah did a great show that really analyzed marriage. Oprah of coarse never married and her concern is that, "it's too easy to not be true to yourself and forget who you are in a marriage" Oprah really challenges the institute of marriage saying it's barely changed since the 1400 century and it's time our society take another look . To be honest I find it very hard to imagine my life as never wanting to get married, how else should you have children. Since however I usually whole heartedly agree with Oprah I'm at less interested to understand why someone like her would make that decision
The show was great because it talked about how today our society is so geared around the event of the marriage instead of the actual marriage it's self. When I think about the year I was engaged I realize now that I was so busy with the job of preparing for the wedding and was so excited to get married that I forgot to be mature enough to really take the time to think about what marriage was. I think so often were like, "yah I know what marriage is all about well because my parents are married and I'm around them" so I'll be married for 4 years this September and my concept of being married has changed greatly in that time. Anyways I'm excited to buy this book because I assume the more I know the better it can be.
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7 comments:
Lisa, I also watched this show, I even taped it. Although I'm not married, I am a strong believer in marriage; for myself. I also tend to agree with some of Oprah's comments, but her reason for not getting married is odd to me. You can lose yourself whether your are married for x amount of time, or living with the person for x amount of time, or whatever! She is in a marriage-like relationship but because she doesn't have the piece of paper, or the vows before god, she has less chance of losing herself? I don't get it. To me the ultimate success is if you choose to get married, then be married and work hard to keep your individuality. Wow, not sure why I feel so strong about this! Thanks for listening though!!
Hmm, now you got me thinking.
Perhaps it's possible she meant in the way that if she were to lose herself, it would be easier to walk away because there were no vows/piece of paper?
really got me thinking now.
signed,
a married person
(t)
Oh I love that so many of you watched the show, that's great. Melanie I do agree with you and I'm wondering what does Oprah recommend to all those people out there who want to have children.
A comment Dr. Robin made was to be big in who you are and I really liked that comment. I want to get the book and at least read some of it.
If two people are totally committed to each other then one piece of paper isn't going to change anything. And besides - weddings are so commercialized these days, the couple will spend thousands of dollars just to make everyone else happy and the day is about all these other people instead of the 2 people who matter most! I believe in the commitment between 2 people - if they choose to express that with a marriage thats fine - but if they just choose to be together and define their own relationship thats fine too! Why does someone HAVE to be married just to have children? It shouldn't take getting married to decide if you should have kids... a piece of paper doen't make anyone more or less qualified or ready for such a life changing task.
Wow, this conversation is getting good, I love it! As for the having children thoughts, to respond to what Lisa asked and what Shannen said; I think Oprah just thinks it doesn't matter if you are married or not when you have children, although I'm not sure if she's actually said that. But anyway, TONS of people have kids these days and they are not married, but yet they are sometimes more committed to one another than a married couple is. It all depends on how you define your own relationship I think. Personally, I'd like to be married when I have kids, but that's just me. Marriage is just that important to me. I'll feel most prepared to raise a family in my relationship when we've made vows to one another in front of our friends and family and celebrated our relationship with them. BUT, that's just me! I think it's great when two people have kids even if they aren't married, just so long as they are committed and mature enough to raise that child as a team. :)
I kinda think Oprah has been dropping hints on purpose so the rags leave her alone.
wouldn't you guys agree?
She's been doing alot of marriage talk lately that indicates she wants people to back off asking her, so she drops these little hints about it.
When she said that, i think it was one more nail in the inquirers coffin.
t
Good post Lisa. I think it's interesting that Oprah isn't married and doesn't have kids, yet the demographic she appeals to falls into that bracket.
(If the title doesn't work, this is Susanne from Better than Cheesecake)
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