Working with Emotional Intelligence.

I bought this book awhile back on Emotional Intelligence and last night I started to read it more seriously. I've always thought this is an interesting subject just because I think our first reaction to someone has way more to do with Emotional Intelligence than their other abilities.
The regular old fashion IQ test is still interesting but I really don't like it because I think people think it's such a big deal to be considered Menza and most people that I know who are Menza are loopy or extroverted, and don't seems to get along as well as others. Also the traditional IQ test was developed by the army back in the 40's and it was testing for very specific cognitive abilities to see who would excel in different areas of the army. So not real life!
One of the reasons I've been thinking about this is the Apprentice. b Donald Trump has to fire someone every week, and the 2 reasons you get fired are. 1. Your group lost and you made a bad decision. 2. You're a bad leader, I hear it over and over, "they just were bad leaders"
So here you have a bunch of competent intelligent people but the one who's going to succeed has to be the great leader.
I had a talk with a friend who is going to be starting his masters degree in Human Resources at Royal Roads. And I was like so what makes a leader what are the characteristics, how do you break that down. (It's amazing the things you can discuss at a bar)
We both agreed that you need vision, you have to be constantly seeing the big picture, and have confidence in it. The confidence is huge, people have to believe that you believe.
It's easy to see your way of doing things however and I don't think it necessarily means your going to be a good leader. The next step is to able to show individuals how they fit in with that vision. You have to be able to inspire others to take part and show them how to contribute. So they need to feel a sense of personal fulfillment from your vision. It think that's the hardest part.
Anyways how to inspire others is very interesting to me and the book I'm reading had this chart called "The Emotional Competence Framework"
I was reading it last night and I had to read it 3 times before I really digested what it was saying. I'm going to just copy it because I've never read anything like it and I was surprised at how well it broke down emotional intelligence.

THE EMOTIONAL COMPETENCE FRAMEWORK

PERSONAL COMPETENCE

These compentencies determine how we manage ourselves.

SELF-AWARENESS
Knowing one's internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions.

• Emotional awareness: Recognizing one's emotions and their effects
• Accurate self-assessment: Knowing one's strengths and limits
• Self-confidence: A strong sense of one's self-worth and capabilities

SELF -REGULATION

Managing one's internal states, impulses, and resources

• Self - Control: Keeping disruptive emotions and impulses in check
• Trustworthiness: Maintaining standards of honesty and integrity
• Conscientiousness: Taking responsibility for personal performance
• Adaptability: Flexibility in handling change
• Innovation: Being comfortable with novel ideas, approaches, and new information.

MOTIVATION

Emotional tendencies that guide or facilitate reaching goals

• Achievement drive: Striving to improve or meet a standard of excellence
• Commitment: Aligning with the goals of the group or organization
• Initiative: Readiness to act on opportunities
• Optimism: Persistence in pursuing goals despite obstacles and setbacks

SOCIAL COMPETENCE

These competencies determine how we handle relationships.

EMPATHY

Awareness of others ' feelings, needs and concerns

• Understanding others: Sensing others' feelings and perspectives, and taking and active interest in their concerns.
• Developing others: Sensing others' development needs and bolstering their abilities
• Service orientation: Anticipation, recognizing and meeting customers' needs
• Leveraging diversity: Cultivating opportunities through different kinds of people.
• Political awareness: Reading a group's emotional currents and power relationships.

SOCIAL SKILLS

Adeptness at inducing desirable responses in others

• Influence: Wielding effective tactics for persuasion
• Communication: Listen openly and sending convincing messages
• Conflict management: Negotiating and resolving disagreements
• Leadership: Inspiring and guiding individuals and groups
• Change catalyst: Initiating or managing change
• Building bonds: Nurturing instrumental relationships
• Collaboration and cooperation: Working with others toward shared goals
• Team capabilities: Creating group synergy in pursuing collective goals.